~ Can’t Afford to Loose Anything Anymore ~

Firstly, I had lost my dearest grandma who passed away on 29th march 2008. After she passed away, a lot of family politics had exist. My mum and all her brothers and sisters had divided into a few gangs. I believe my grandma doesn’t want to see so. I don’t understand why such things can happen! Why can’t they just get along together as happy as last time. What’s going on? Soon, my mum even don’t allow me and my sister keep on touch with other cousins whom from other gangs. I thought it was my mum’s generation problems and not the next generation problems! We’re innocent! What’s the matter if we keep in touch with other cousins?

I’m in KL. I don’t know what actually happen at my hometown and my mum. Ever since my grandma passed away, my mum has changed a lot. She doesn’t really care of her family. She’s like get addicted with Buddhism. It’s good for sometimes but not until get too addicted till leave the family aside. It’s definitely wrong! She should have always remembered she still has 2 kids which is my younger sister and me. I heard my sister said that my mum always scold her and even not satisfy with her results no matter how good she score or even improve compare to previous exam. My sister even complained to me that my mum seems like treat people’s daughter like her own daughter but treat her own daughter like other people. What’s wrong with her? I also want to know but I can’t as I’m in KL. I want to help my family but it’s a bit hard. I don’t want to see my mum like that. I called her once my results were out and I felt like why she’s like so surprise and a bit like can’t recognize me. I felt strange. How can my mum become like that? I don’t want to loose my mum. Oh mum, please come back and please awake!

Soon, before this semester started, I had lost a best friend of mine. The word “lost” not refers to my best friend had passed away but it refers to my best friend and I are no longer best friend. Not even normal friends too as I don’t trust that friend anymore! But may be just hi-bye friends. For now, I don’t hope to see that friend. I need time for it! Even when I saw that friend in college, I just turned back and walked away. You may say that I’m avoiding but actually not! Is just that I don’t want to see that friend!

Luckily I still have this blog to express everything out. As I’ve no more best friend and no more people I can talk to. So, if anything I just will type out here. If without this blog, I think i'll collapse soon or stress out as I unable to handle all this problems.

~ Happy Day ~

Wuhoo! Finally everything is over! Although I might be angry or disappointed sometimes but I fee good after release everything out and finally game over! Yeah!! Yippi!!

I was a bit confused of want to go sing k or go home? But at last I choose to go home to sing k as today is Saturday and is weekend. It’s expensive to sing k on weekend and I wanted to save my money. Although singing karaoke at home myself but still very fun and high! I had sang many songs which with high vocal. Wow…it was damn ‘shuang’! Can express all my feelings and everything out at once! Luckily I was home alone and sang in my room so no one complain. Haha……

After that, I was still not really happy yet. So, I decided to spend some of my money as I had saved a lot of money this week. Then, I went to KLCC BOOK FEST to look for books and bought some Japanese drama series. It was cheap. I love books! I felt so happy to see so many books once I just enter the book fest. Soon, I had forgotten everything and bought things with a happy mood. That’s fun and happy! From this thing, I can prove that I can even leave alone and go out alone without friend. I won’t feel lonely but happy! Actually after that happen, I only realize that I like is the ‘U’ last time and not the ‘U’ know her and started to get influence and change. As a friend, I only can say until here. in the coming future, hope you'll see things clearly. No matter what, today is still my happiest and most enjoyable day! Thanks God for everything! Thanks God!

~ Home Alone ~

I’m glad that I’m home alone again! Is very happy of being so as I can sing as loud as I can until the peak of the world! To express everything out at once especially anger will let people feel better after that. From now onwards, me, KHONG YI YIN will be brave! Can stand by myself and accept any challenge! I won’t be afraid of anything anymore! Even facing all the problems by myself or alone!

As long as is my own problem, I’ll settle all by myself and won’t ask for any helps unless is under a team. Furthermore, I won’t tell any friend of my own problem anymore! No friend can be relying on even your very best friend. Even a best friend also can disappoint you!

A friend in need is a friend indeed. How true is this phrase? You try out yourself, and then you’ll know the answer. In my opinion, this phrase is not really true! There’s sometimes you need to help or face any problems by yourself! Especially during urgent or something bad had happened and you need help, there’s no people will help especially your very best and trusted friend! And that’s the time you only can help yourself! I don’t care anymore! So long as I’m happy and that’s all!!

~ Because I’m KYY ~

Is a promise! A promise to myself that I’ve to protect myself and be stronger than other girls! And also not to show my weaknesses I front of anyone especially guys! Although sooner or later I’ll be the only girl in my house, but I’m not afraid of it! So what! Actually I thought of shift out long time ago, but I didn’t do so as the main reason is I’m so lucky to stay opposite my lecturer’s house. Furthermore, I quite like the house I’m staying now and I’m happy with it and the rental is also quite cheap. As a result, I won’t shift unless I have to or force to.

If I want to shift, I also won’t ask anyone for help to search for a nice room. It’s my own problem! I’ll settle myself! I don’t need anyone’s help! You may feel weird that why I’m becoming so? Is because of too many times of disappointments until I can’t stand it anymore! I dare not hope or expect for anything anymore. And also I don’t want to be dependable! So, I rather to depend on myself rather than depend on others! Because I’m not like other people can be reliable and got people to protect. I’m not! So, I must be more protective and independent! That’s why I don’t need anyone’s help!

Do you think my friends will visit to my house? No! I don’t think so! Maybe will have a few of them or maybe not even either of them. Will it makes me feel lonely? No, I don’t think so! Maybe will feel that sometimes but I believe that I’ll be able to overcome it! This is all because of I’m KYY and not others!

~ Mother’s Day ~

11 May is Mother’s Day in year 2008. The celebration this year is a bit different as my grandma had passed away. Previously, when my grandma was still alive, all my uncles, aunts and cousins will return to Kuantan to celebrate Mother’s Day with my grandma. But it won’t be anymore! I just hope that everyone will be back to celebrate Father’s Day with my grandpa.

This year Mother’s Day is just like normal day for me. There’s nothing special. Each family, celebrate themselves and separately. Really miss those days that my grandma still alive and everyone gather together to share and joke together. That’s the happiest moments ever which I won’t forget! I hope will have chance like that again. Even one time also doesn’t matter. So long as everyone is happy. =)

In the afternoon of the Mother’s Day, my cousins, sis and I make ‘wantan’ and cook for my aunt and mum to eat. It’s as an appreciation to our mum. I didn’t even give anything to my mum as present on that day. So, we just cooked ‘wantan’ and noodles to let them eat as lunch. Although was just like that, I could feel that our mum was very happy for it. For them, the most important thing is we able to do well in our studies, score flying colours and be a successful person in the future and never forget them! So, I must do well in my exam so that I won’t disappoint any of them! I LOVE YOU, GRANDMA! I LOVE YOU TOO, MUM! HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!! ^^

~ Acknowledgement ~

You have taught me a lot since the day I know you. I’ve learned many things from you. When first I came to KL, I never thought of learn to cook. And I don’t even know “sharing is caring”. I learned all this from you! After I had started and tried to cook some dishes, the first thing came to my mind was, I must learn to cook delicious ‘tau fu’ for my grandparents especially my grandma after I back to my hometown. Although it’s too late, I unable to cook for my grandma, but at least I do learn how to cook. Although my food taste badly sometimes, but you still will finish it and able to give me some feedback as referent to improve my cooking skill every time.

Before I came to KL, I always thought of leaving my family to some other places will lead to happier life. But I'm wrong! I’ve learned from you that family is always comes first. Because no matter what happen, family members will always be with you and support you. Actually sometimes, I’m quite envy you that you’ve such harmony and happy family. My family become more harmony after I study in KL. Although I don’t know what’s the actual reason but I’m happy to see so. I’ve also learned from you that we’ve the right to voice out our dissatisfaction and to improve the relationships between our family members.

All I want to say is thank you very much! Thanks for everything! You’ve taught me a lot of things. And I apologize that I’m quite annoying sometimes. And sorry for always troubling you. May be I’m not a good friend all this while. I won’t be trouble or ‘fan’ you anymore. Anyway, thanks for everything! You’re always a good friend of mine! =)

~ DREAM ~

Normally the 2nd dream will not connect with the 1st dream. But this time my both dream were slightly connected to each other. I dream if my grandma twice! Finally, my dreams come true!

In my 1st dream, I was having a walk with my grandma at a beach at night. Suddenly, we saw a mad dog that running around and chasing people. Everyone was running away for their life. Soon, the mad dog ran towards my grandma and bites her hand. So her hand was injured. Then, I cried. But my mum said, “What for you cry? Your grandma had died”. This is the part where I’m still confused whether that is my grandma or not. But I really saw my grandma’s hand was injured and was bleeding in the dream.

The 2nd dream was located at my grandpa’s house. Some of my cousins, aunts & uncles and I were there. We were having some conversation. After that, don’t know who mentioned about play cards or mahjong. So, my grandma volunteers to teach us to play cards or mahjong. Then, I woke up!

I wonder will I dream my grandma again tonight after I sleep? Will the dream continue with my 2nd dream? But one thing for sure, if I score my exam with flying colors, I’ll sure show it to my grandma! I LOVE YOU, GRANDMA! And I MISS YOU SO MUCH!

~ My FeeLiNGs ~

Three weeks had passed after my grandma had passed away. The passage “TAU FU” is the only and last passage in my blog that I wrote regarding my grandma a few years ago before she get stroke last year. Although there’s many grammatical error, but I won’t correct it. If I correct it, it may change the feel of the whole passage. The passage is very valuable and priceless for me. I won’t get to write such passage anymore! No more in my life!

The things I worry all the while happened after my grandma passed away. Which was I unable to let go of her. I spend a week to put down and let go of her. On that week, I did many things which I never do before and was like another me. I cried the whole day during the funeral and I even will get emotion whenever mentioned about my grandma. Many things had happened when I was not in college although only for two days. On Friday, I felt very lost after my class at 4p.m. I didn’t even know where to go. Then I walked to the college bus stop and sat there for some time. After that, I decided to go to watch movie alone. My first thought was watched comedy so that I can laugh. Soon, I watched two movies continuously. All those never happen in my life before!

On Saturday was my grandma’s 7th day. I purposely drunk myself so that I’m able to dream my grandma and to forget all those unhappy stuffs. I really did so but I don’t know whether I was drunk or not. My friends also shocked to hear so. After that day, I started to accept the fact and let go of my grandma. But I hate every Saturday 2.++ am which is the time my grandma passed away. It will be my 2nd unforgettable memory in my life. It’s hard to forget that moment. To be honest, I still will cry every Saturday 2.++ am once it refresh back in my mind. I really miss my grandma so much!

After I studied in KL, I seldom called back. The last time I talked to my grandma on phone was the mid of my first semester before she get stroke on September 2007. Actually I planned to cook for her during my break in 1st semester. But it was too late! She get stroke in a sudden and many things had started to change. So, just do whatever you feel like doing before it’s too late! And appreciate every moment you’re having now! You may not know what will happen in the next second! Enjoy your life and always be happy! After all, I’ll appreciate my every moment with my grandpa and everyone now.

~ LasT WeeK's ToDaY ~

Last week’s today brought many changes. I still remember my cousins and I were staying awake at the living room. Because was our turn (every Friday night) to take care of my grandma. I was too sleepy so I went into the room to sleep at 2am. But two of my cousins still watching “Flood” at the living room. Once my cousin brother didn’t hear any sound from my grandma, he went to see awhile but she’s still breathing. Later, my aunty came down to see, she noticed that my grandma heart beat had stopped.

Suddenly, I was woken up by my cousin sister at around 2.30am. I was quite blur at that time and didn’t know what’s happening. So, I just woke up and walked out to the living room. Then, my aunt suddenly asked me to touch my grandma’s chest to make sure that my grandma’s heart beat had stopped. I put my hand on her chest and I really can’t feel anything which means her heart beat had stopped and died peacefully. That’s the moment many things started to change. Then, everyone started to pray for my grandma by sitting around her. We prayed 8 hours continuously and we’re not allowed to touch her in between the 8 hours.

At first, I’m still able to control my feeling but sooner or later I still burst into tears. I refresh back everything about my grandma and my tears kept like a water pipe non-stop flow out the water. Actually I was told not to cry in front of my grandma because scare that she’ll unable to let go us and go peacefully. My grandpa didn’t even know my grandma had passed away. We only told him after the 8 hours pray because scare he’ll touch my grandma after tell him. He’s so sad and angry and kept scolding us why don’t we tell him earlier. My uncles console him. He cried and went into the living room to touch my grandma before other people make up for my grandma and cover her with a cloth. After that, she was carried out and put it into a coffin and the funeral held at outside the house for 5 days.

~ EnD a FrIEndShIP ~

Have you ever think of ending a friendship with anyone? To be honest, I did think of it before. It’s very stupid for me to think so. Furthermore, I even thought of I’ll be more happy if I end the friendship with my friend. But I might be loosing 2 friends at once if I do so. I’m so selfish and never think of what they think. That’s not me! Oh my god, I must be crazy and out of my mind!

What makes me think of ending the friendship? It may be because there’s something that I still can’t accept it. May be I can accept it when time passes. But I think it might take a very long time for me to accept it. I understand that we had gone through many things before. I appreciate it so much! May be you all may think that I’m ‘small gas’. But have you all thought of it deeply by standing at my side. Then, you all will know how I feel of the upset and disappointment. I don’t think I’ll continue to type this passage anymore because it may causes some troubles or conflicts if I continue it. I don’t hope to see so happen!

Actually is extremely hard to end a friendship with anyone especially your good friend. May be I won’t ask for help or anything anymore. I’ll always try my best to help myself. I’ll protect myself from getting sad and hurt. Because I want to be the cheerful me and no longer sad anymore. My tears is going to dry up if I keep crying everyday and is just like ‘one liter of tears’. Because I’ve so many problems in this semester that causes the tears can’t stop flowing.

Do you think that I want to be so? No! I was affected by the surrounding, by it happens around me every moment. Disappointed and sadness are also apart of it that are also affecting me. May be one day you all may found out that I’m no longer that person you all anymore.

~ SuRRenDeR ~

Finally, I loose! I loose to myself! I surrender! I always thought that I can live alone but really can’t. For people like me, sure won’t feel lonely because I always make friends everywhere. But when I feel sad and down that time, there’s no one to console me, not even one of them. When I really need help or a friend to accompany me or console me, but no! No one will! I always thought that I’m a very tough girl that can face all the problems and settle everything just by my own because I don’t want others to worry or trouble others. To be honest, sometimes is really very tiring being so tough.

Oh God, please bring her along with you to heaven. Please let her leave peacefully and beautifully. That’s what my grandma hopes for. Pleas don’t let her suffer anymore. When she’s suffering, not only she feels the pain but everyone around her too. I believe that I sure will cry when she leaves but I willing to let her go. I don’t want to see her suffer anymore.

Don’t worry grandma! Even if nobody always beside me to console me after you leaves, I believe I sure can overcome it by myself. Although is hard and it needs time, but time will rove everything. So, you may go peacefully anytime. I love you forever!

~ The First Day of School and my Results ~

Actually there’s nothing special with my first day of school. I was shocked to hear the news this early in the morning. There were 85% of students fail their FOA. How could it be? We’re accounting students and so many of them fail? Oh my god! From that moment onwards, I can’t really concentrate in my lecture. Another reason was also because I was having heavy flu. Since then, I’m prepared and ready to see any of the subject fail.

After reached home, I was so nervous and can’t wait to check for my results. I was so impatient! May be because there’re many people log into the website to check their results, so it’s hard to log in to the web page. I tried for a few times only get to log in. My results are bad although I pass all the subjects. To be honest, I quite satisfy with my results and I know what causes me can’t get A. The results are worse than the previous results. My mum was so disappointed and sad cause of I didn’t get any A.

I’m not a genius or intelligent person. So, I must work many times harder than other people to get A. It’s not an easy job. Now only I realize that I always study so hard and aim so high not only for myself but main for my parents and relatives. I don’t want to disappoint them and I don’t want to look down by other people. From an active yi yin become a passive yi yin. By staying at home study and only go out once in a blue moon.
What’s happening? I really have no idea. Aih……

~ ThInK NiCeLY BeFoRE ReAcT ~

Hey, don’t think that I’m a good person. Sometimes, I might be bad too. Now only I know one of my friend hate and angry with me so much! What I did? He said caused of I hurt him. Did I hurt him?

Actually it happened 2 years ago when I was form 5 and after my SPM. My friend like me and one day he proposed to me. But I rejected him by explained clearly to him that I put study first and I don’t want to think of other things. It’s because study is very important to me and I like it so much. Furthermore, I apologize that I really don’t have any feelings on you. May be all these words did hurt his feelings so much. From that onwards, he hates and angry with me so much!

If you really don’t like that person, I think that you should tell him/her clearly and settle it as soon as possible without dragging it. The longer u drag, he/she will like you more and once you tell the truth, you will hurt him/her feelings more. But you must always remember, if can, you try not to hurt his/her feelings when you say out your thoughts. Think properly before you react or else you will be regret. Although sometimes you might loose a friend after you tell the truth but no matter what, it’s better than letting people misunderstand and adding his/her likeness on you. Then, you will end up with hurting his/her feelings more! Care of people’s feelings and be honest in this kind of things towards everyone!

~ SAD ~

Suddenly, I feel very down and moody. Wuwuwu…. I don’t want to go back to KL for school reopen on next week. I’ve no idea why I feel so. May be because I unable to put down or let go of something such as my grandparents, family and friends. I think the most that I can’t put down is my grandma. I really very scare the next time I back, I already can’t see my grandma. Honestly, I hope that she can leave earlier to heaven or another more wonderful place so that she has no longer suffered here.

Every time when I heard she screams, I feel very heartache. The louder she screams, the more I feel heartache. Furthermore, she screams because of pain especially when my mum or my uncle is helping her to wash and clean up her wounds. That’s why they will only do so when she’s sleeping. So, when she’s awake and screaming, I’ll stand by her side and tell her to sleep so that she can’t feel the pain after she sleeps soundly.

I don’t know why I’m afraid of loosing someone I love and care especially any of my family members. If my grandma pass away, I really scare that I can’t accept and face it. I don’t know what to do and how to curb and face it.

Anyway, I sure will return to KL when school reopens. I’ll study hard to pass and score my results with flying colours in this coming semester. That is also everyone hope to see and I don’t want to disappoint anyone of them.

~ My HoLiDaY ~

Many people must be wondering how I spend my holiday. Ok, let me share it with everyone in my blog. Actually there’s nothing special with my holiday. I spend most of my time at my grandparents’ house to help my mother and aunts. I help them to take care of my grandmother as the rest goes to school and work. While taking care of my grandparents, I also can do my own things such as blogging and watch drama.

Sometimes, if my uncle is here then my mum and I will go out for breakfast together with another aunt. Because of everyone has to take turn to stay awake every night to take care of my grandma, so mine is on Thursday, Friday and Sunday night. Although it was tiring and I’ve not enough sleep, but I’m the most free as I’m not schooling so I can help them to lighten their burden. I really look like a panda and I admit that my look during this holiday is much worse than during exam period. My eyes look tired and sleepy and could hardly open sometimes when I go out ‘yam cha’ with my friends. But I’m happy that I can do all this for my grandparents. I’m happy to take care of them.

Due to Chinese New Year, so my family and I went back to Seremban which is my dad’s hometown for 4 days 3 nights (2nd until the 5th day of CNY). It was the longest period we spent there since I was born. Normally we only back there for 3 days 2 nights and never 4 days 3 nights before. We went to Port Dickson and also Dong Zen which is a well-known temple located at Jenjarom, Banting. We went twice to the temple at night and evening. It was huge and beautiful! It full with lantern, light and also various kinds beautiful flowers! There’s nothing special at Port Dickson. It’s just a small place. But it has a beautiful beach which also can organize many water activities at there. I bought a t-shirt and a short pan while my sis bought a t-shirt and a cap. On the other hand, my dad only bought a short pan and my mum didn’t buy anything at PD. The design of the hotels there are a bit look like overseas’ building. It’s quite unique.

This CNY, I also went to ‘bai nian’ with my teachers and friends. But I unable to go all as there’re too many of them. Besides that, I also went out ‘yam cha’ with my friend if I’m free. I’ve to go no matter how tired I am because we only gather once in blue moon. We appreciate all the happy and sweet moment we get together. Our table is always the noisiest table. We laugh and talk very loud and sometimes even over excited. Wakaka……really miss those crazy days in primary and secondary school! I’ll visit my teachers in school soon.

I think that’s all for my holidays! I enjoy it so much! It’s much more meaningful than my school holidays last time. It passes so fast and half month had gone! I can’t wait for school reopen and starts with the 3rd semester. I miss study so much! May be because the more I grow the more I like to study. I also don’t know why. Haha…….

~ PiTY LiTTLe PuPPy ~

this is the cute little puppy!

Bang! There it left us and goes to heaven! “It” is refers to a cute and playful little puppy which crashed by a car and died after a few minutes just now. Some of us had expected this will happened one day as the puppy likes to follow anyone or cars until the road side then only it’ll ran back to my grandparents’ house again. Sometimes, it even followed us to cross the busy road in front of my grandparents’ house without notice it. for example, this morning when my mum and I were crossing road to the opposite shop lots to wait for my aunt and it followed us across the road until the double line in the middle of the road and in a sudden it turned back and returned back to the house. It scared us! Luckily, nothing happened at that moment.

The puppy was adapted by my cousin sister 3 weeks ago. How it came? Actually, this puppy was outside my uncle’s house for a night already. The next morning when my cousin brother and his friends were cycling around his neighborhood, the puppy kept following them. Then, my cousin returned to his home and asked her mum, “what to do with the dog?” Her mum told him to send it over to my grandparents’ house for my cousin sister as she likes dog so much! So, the puppy followed at the back of my cousin while he’s cycling and lead it the way to my grandparents’ house. There’s the day my cousin sister started to adapt it and she named it “Baby”. She loves it so much! She even bath together with it in the bathroom sometimes, carries it and plays with it everyday.

I was in the bathroom. Suddenly, I heard someone was crying. I wonder what’s happening. So, I wore my clothes very fast and rushed out from the bathroom. Then, only I knew that the puppy had passed away. My cousin sister burst into tears and she was so sad and had cried for a few hours. When her parents back, they were shocked to see their own daughter cried till so loud. After they make things clear, then my uncle dig a big and deep hole in one of the part of the house and my aunt helped to carry the dog to the place and buried it. It was not scary either although was at night. Quite a number of us send it the last journey. My sis also cried.

After that, my dad only told me that actually the dog was following him across the road without his notices, and then it ran back to the roadside again. After my dad entered the shop, he heard a loud sound, bang! The sound was came from the roadside, he ran out the shop immediately and he saw a car drove away with a high speed and the puppy was lying on the roadside outside the house. Luckily there’s no more car on the road. Without hesitation, my dad quickly ran across the road and carried the dog back to the house before any car went over it. At first, the puppy was still moving. But after a few minutes, it stopped breathing and died. Although I not really like the puppy as I afraid of dog and this playful puppy always wants to run towards me and make me scream and shout for help. But I also feel sad and sorry to hear so. Hey doggy, wish you will live happily in heaven!

Life is short! Nobody knows what will happen in the next second. So, appreciate and be happy with everything you’re having now before it’s too late!

~ HaPPy BiRthDaY GrAnDPa ~

Yummy~ It's my grandpa's birthday cake from secret recipe!

my grandpa and his birthday cake.....Happy Birthday,Grandpa!!

There're 9 big candles which means it's my grandpa's 90 years old birthday!

haha....my aunt was helping my grandpa to blow off the candle

Wooow.....finally is time for my grandpa to cut his lovely birthday cake!

Happy birthday to you; happy birthday to you; happy birthday to ah gong; happy birthday to you! Yahoo! Ah gong, ‘hok ju dang hai, siu bi nang sua’(fu ru dong hai, shou bi nan shan)! I've just received some photos from my cousin regarding my grandpa's birthday on last year (10/11/2007). Yeah! It was my grandpa's 90 years old birthday!Unfortunately, I couldn’t manage to come back to celebrate birthday with my grandpa as I didn’t have transport to go back. Because my uncle’s whole family was sick in KL so there’re not going back to Kuantan as they didn’t want to pass their disease to others.

But it doesn’t matter because those who in Kuantan celebrated with him. I’m glad to see that he so happy! They bought a cake from secret recipe, fried noodles, fried rice and also the best sate from Satay Zul. I not really know how they celebrate my grandpa’s birthday but I still can briefly describe it.

This time is different than previous years as they only celebrate with grandpa at home. Previously, we celebrated with him in a big room of the hotel call M.S.Garden. We even sing karaoke there. After the dinner, everyone will return to my grandparents’ house to wish my grandpa and take ‘ang pau’ from him. Furthermore, I also sing 2 teow chew songs to my grandpa after reached home. The song I sing are ‘sai gue jo ni gio jo tembikai’ (why watermelon call tembikai?) and ‘ah gong deng sua lai’.

This time they only celebrated at home as my grandma in a bad condition. Early in the morning, everyone who went to my grandparents’ house had to eat noodles and eggs with sweet soup. It’s a teow chew tradition since last time. The soup is tastes sweet. At night, they only ate dinner and sang birthday song. Then, they also got wish and took ‘ang pau’ from my grandpa. Although was just a simple birthday celebration for my grandpa but he already very happy. Everyone also satisfy and very happy! =)

~ PrOuD & ImPreSS~

Hey, you are really a brave girl! I really impress and proud of you! You know what? You get to do many things that other girls can’t or hard to do. It’s so hard for you to get into hot temper. You like to always be yourself! You like to cold joke or joke with your friends! Whenever your friends need your help, you sure will be there for help and always try your best to do so!

Sometimes, you are too kind until some of them bully or take advantage on you. But you also hardly get angry with them and you still will help them. Although sometime I really very angry with them who over act and take advantage on me but no matter what, sometime is my responsibility as printing manager to do so. And sometimes, I think helping friends can bring happiness to them and that is friends are for. Human should help each other when whoever faces problem. You’ll sure very happy after helping someone. When her friends down, she’ll console them and give them some advice and also some humble opinion. She always gives her fully support to her family and friends!

This girl, help everyone with her true heart without hoping or asking for any return from anyone. Sometimes, she’s really mad of those friends who give so many excuses and refuse to help her, then, she chooses to settle it by herself! But she no longer mad of her friends as she thinks that we’re friends forever and it doesn’t matter that you all help or not. As long as everyone happy then anything will do!

She’s easily to forgive a person. However, she hates to live in a problematic family. But she still chooses to forgive her parents for always complaint their problems to her and also making her a middle person between to of them. She forgives them because she thinks that no matter what happen, they still a family. Furthermore, this girl always hopes for a peaceful and happy family. Although can’t really fulfill her wish but she’s trying her best all the time to settle her family’s problems. Sometimes, she able to reduce her parents tempers and makes them laugh again and so everything settles peacefully! She forgive her friends easily too! This shows that this girl likes peaceful so much! Peace!

She remembers there’s once her mother talk bad and step her by using those hurtful sentences and words in front of her younger sister. At that moment, this girl didn’t argue back with her mother but she felt like there’s a sharp knife poke into her heart and was so painful! She thought that how could a mother say her daughter like this, it’s unfair and hurtful! The second day, she told her grandma and her grandma console her and said, “Don’t care what your mother said! The most important is you work hard and prove to her that she’s wrong and you can do it!” The girl felt very touch and warm at that moment as she still has grandmother’s love.

To be honest, her grandma loves her so much since small. When she’s tiny little baby that time, whenever her grandma saw she’s not feeling well and none stop crying, she’ll follow she cry as well. She always cooks her granddaughter’s favorite dishes for her. Of course, her granddaughter loves her too! Actually after her granddaughter went to study in KL, she planed to learn to cook better and once she back, she wants to cook for her grandma. But it’s too late! Before she gets back, her grandma already get stroke and paralyze. In this case, her grandma only can drink milk by pouring the milk bit by bit through the tube. She’s having wound over her whole body. It’s very pain! Every night there’s people to take turn to stay awake the whole night to take care of grandma. She really misses those happy and sweet moments with her grandma. Although she studies in KL but once she’s free or holidays, she’ll sure return home to help her mother to take care of her grandma and also stay awake the whole night for help. Although is very tiring but she’s happy of doing all this too! She rather spends her precious time with her family than other things before it’s too late and she doesn’t want to be regret in the future! The words “Family first” always appears in her mind. And these two words were taught by one her senior. This senior makes her realize that family is always come first and they’re very important to us! Without their support, we can’t able to be success!

This girl doesn’t care much of her outlook because she always thinks that inner beauty is the most important among the whole person! A person who looks pretty or handsome but if he/she doesn’t have inner beauty also no use. Moreover, the most important is a person’s attitude. That’s why she doesn’t care much about her dressing.

Besides, this girl also noob in doing something sometime. Although people think that she’s noob, but she’s happy and know what she’s doing so she doesn’t care of how people treat or look at her. Sometimes, she’s quite blur too! But she’s very serious when she’s studying until forget about her hungriness and also ignore people around her. Haha….finally this is one of her bad habit that also makes her parents worry that she’ll over study!

Although this girl faces a lot of pressure such as stress in study and also family problem but she’s brave and she face it! And every time she gets to overcome it by herself! She’ll never easily give up!

Last but not least, I would like to say that this girl is me! Do you agree?

~ FaCe It ~

Before my sister back from tuition, I was still thinking of want to go for my friend’s birthday party or not. At first, I already set up my mind and didn’t want to go. The reason of I’m not going because I know that they sure will mentioned about him. And I really don’t hope to hear any of my friend mention or ask about him anymore. Because he’s over my mind everyday and I’m controlling myself not to message or even talk to him until he message or talk to me first. To be honest, to let so of someone is extremely hard! But don’t worry, I’m trying my best to do so! At last, I choose to go to the party and I’m not scared anymore! Cause I choose to face it! You can do it, girl! I believe one day you sure able to get rid of all this!

I really don’t know what’s going on among us. I feel like our distance is getting further and further. I don’t understand why all this happen! I thought we still can chat like last time and as good as last time like normal friend. But not anymore! Why? Why? Why?
Can’t you just treat me as normal friend? I know you afraid that I’ll misunderstand. But of course not! I won’t misunderstand! You’re just a friend of mine that I can always talk to and I treat you as my good friend.

Our friendship really have to become worse just because of little thing happen? I don’t mind of sacrificing my happiness or anything just to let everyone happy always. I hope to see smiley face from everybody in every single day. Then, I’ll sure be very happy no matter what happen! Don’t worry! I’ll sure be tough! You happy or sad also the will day like that, so why don’t you choose to be happy everyday, right? So, I choose to be happy and cheerful everyday so that I can brighten everyone with my laughter. That’s me! Yeah! I must do it!

~ ArE FRiEnDs ImPoRTanT? ~

Friends are also played important part in our life other than our family. You may make friends with everyone around the world but not everyone get to become your friend. Why? Some people believe that becoming friend is also depends on fate. Are friends important? Of course! You try to ask yourself, “can you live alone without friends and family?” I believe there’ll be at least 80% or more people say no! No one can live alone in this world. It’s because human also afraid of loneliness and bored.

Friends are also about trust. Without trustworthy among friends, conflict such as misunderstand, quarrel or even fight among each other will happen. Moreover, honesty is the key for any relationships. It’s also important between friends. When you tell lie and you drag it and refuse to tell the truth, one day when your friend finds out, things will become worse. All these will cause no longer friendship.

At home, you have your family help and support but you’re out in the society, you’ll need your friend’s help and support. A friend in need is a friend indeed. When you’re sad or down, you’ll hope that there’s someone beside you to console you or when you’ve any problem, you may express it to your friend or ask for their help. A true friend will always beside you whenever you need him/her by consoling you, giving his/her full support to you and also helping you.

Actually helping your friends, not only can bring happiness to them but also yourself too. The moment they appreciate your help and say thanks to you is the happiest moment because you get to help a person that need your help. However, not everything you can help, sometime you can only try your best to console them and be with them when they need you. Although you can’t help much but don’t feel bad for it. It’s because at least you did try your best and do whatever you can and the rest is depends on his/her own will to stand up again.

Everyone sure will experience falls or fail in their life for at least one time. Some of them choose to end their life by commit suicide because they afraid to face it. And don’t get influence by devil! You must always remember there’s always hope! Tomorrow will be better than today! Never mind if you fail once. The most important is you must be brave! Face it and don’t try to avoid from it! Because if you avoid it, you’ll only make yourself suffer and your problem will not solve forever. So, you must keep on trying to find the problem out and solve it! This will be the day you get to stand up again. I believe that not only you will feel proud of yourself for this, people around you will sure feel proud of you too.