~Is Hard to be A Cheerful Person~

you will never know the reason even the person who know me well the most. Because i can very sure that in this world there's no person know me well other than myself,not even my parents,nobody knows what i'm thinking. is it so hard to find a person to express or tell out my feelings? yes, i admit i very selfish always disturb kor & jie. i know i shouldn't do so. but then fine! start from now everyone will be very busy to prepare for their exam and also is time for myself to think that settle every problems by myself. is time to think so because nobody will be free already. i also don't want to disturb them anymore. furthermore,i also bring many problems to them already. kor & jie,don't worry cause is time to let me think so. own problems have to settle ownself. there's what people always say.
i'm unhappy & moody always because i always give myself very high hopes & my permintaan very high,once i can't succeed it,i'll b very dissapointed & sad. & also once i did anything wrongly to anyone or myself,then i'll feel like i can;t forgive myself for what i did. besides,i also have to face many problems like family conflict,my studies and also many of my own problems. although i did lose myself once but i found it back in the end. but at the same time,i lost my happiness,laughness & even smile. until now, i still haven't found it back but nevermind because at least i can bring happiness to everyone but not my own. so is still a happy things har? hehe......