~ PaIN & HeaRTacHe~

This morning, I was called by my mother to lend my hand to her and a nurse to change urine tube for my grandmother. All I did is just hold the torchlight and I aim the light to my grandma’s private part. Oh my god! I don’t know why I feel so dizzy and disgusting suddenly of watching it. Actually the nurse was poking the urine tube into my grandma’s private part. It was so pain. And I really impress the nurse. At first, the nurse wore handgloves then she pulled my grandma's private part wider so that she could see the hole clearly and poke the urine tube into it.I don’t know how they able to do such thing. I just hold the torchlight and closed my eyes as I couldn’t stand it.

Although my grandma had no feeling but I could feel the pain of hers. It’s like something sharp poke into your private part. The nurse kept poking the urine tube into my grandma’s private part and pulled out again as she poked into the wrong part until she saw the urine flow from the tube. I really feel very heartache of seeing that. And my grandma is really suffering.

I hope she can go earlier so that she doesn’t need to suffer for so long. Cause she also won’t want to be like that and that is not what she hopes for. Actually she told us before that she just hope to go peacefully. So, I always pray that she won’t suffer for so long and can leave this world earlier.