Eczema

~ Eczema~

Does anyone knows what it means?  How it happens and what's the cause?  Can it be fully recovered?

This is one of the stress I'm facing since young.  I have it since baby. It left unlimited and plenty of scars on my body but I'm one of the lucky one whereby it's only on my body, hands and legs, not face though my face being infected before.

I'm lucky because I have many of family and friends who cares and love me so much which indirectly bring me some stress too. I just don't want to disappoint them, just want to do my best always. Hope it can be fully recovered too. Had tried many ways, any western medicine or Chinese traditional methods.  It only works awhile and it came and go always. I remembered when I went out with my parents to market or outside with shorts, people tent to look at my leg and started to asked my parents what happened to me, sometimes not even relatives or their friends, even a sales person in supermarket.  It makes me feel burden and I just don't hope my parents to face this anymore.  Even my dad will said to me, also don't understand why you can like this. At certain point, it's hurtful but also I understand that he didn't really mean that.

I always have a dream, is to become a singer, but it's not a matter to me anymore.  During secondary school, there's once my mum brought me to a specialist recommended by one of my aunt. After visited the doctor, I'm more sure that my dream can be just a dream as people cares more on outlook. The doctor said the % of being fully cured only less than 40%. If I were a child or small kid，the % of being fully recovered if much more higher.

From then, not that I give up hope or refuse to see doctors or try any methods. I just learn to accept the truth and the facts and hope even if it cures one day, it will be naturally cure by it owns without over use of any medicine or creams.

When the weather changes from time to time also affected to become worse or better and the most obvious time is when after the period of the month came, it may turns worse but will back to normal later.

The toughest time is when it get worse everytime. I don't have any mirror as I don't even know to to face or look at myself sometimes, so the best is don't look. I understand people around me feel heartache to see so but please bare in mind, I'm the real person who experiencing it.  Though I always act like don't care but I care more than anyone else. The worst is I can feel the pain of my skin even o just lie on the bed or sitting doing nothing.  I always thought of go for injection, but for what?!  Temporarily cure and no pain anymore?

I just hope it really can cure naturally one day but I dare not think for much. As long as it never turns from bad to worse and not pain especially when bathing. Bath is one of the thing I'm afraid of as I'm too afraid of the pain and suffering. I need thousands of reason to get myself into a bathroom and to turn on the shower and let the water splash on me.  Except for my hair and face uses cold water, the rest I use hot water to bath as it can cut down my pain.

How it feels when the water splashes on me? It's like the wound which splashes by salt as if like the sharp knife stab into ur lungs and heart which makes you can't breath as it's too painful. And you imagine that I have to go through this process everyday. My mental almost break down at certain stage 6 or 7 years ago. Because of family and friends who loves, cares and supports me which keeps me live until now.

I understand that sometimes people will look at me weirdly when I go out and even some friends afraid of me and don't even let me touch anything of theirs as they afraid they might get infected too. It's ok and I understand and learn to accept the facts now.

I met a very good skin specialist who told me this before, 'even if I give you medicine, it only helps for some time, for temporary only. Stress of work maybe one of the causes too.  Have you ever thought of resign from your audit job?  Most importantly is stay happy and positive mind always.  Can read more helpful related books and try out for meditation as it may keep your mind calms. These matters will help too. Must have faith and belove in yourself always that it will cure one day.  Positive mind is very important to make it happens.'

His words makes me stay stronger and keep my mind more positive always as I'm too good in controlling my own mind since young.

Feels much better after expressing it out my words through heart.  Hope people will understand people who suffering from eczema, it won't infect others and please do not look down on them. We are also human being just that our skin looks not as good as others only. Please be friend with them and do not say something hurtful to them. Support and loves are needed from people more than any words.

Hope everyone stay happily and keep the mind positively abs let's pray that people with eczema will fully recover one day or so long as it never turns worse than already good enough. Smile always.  😄