~ Can’t Afford to Loose Anything Anymore ~

Firstly, I had lost my dearest grandma who passed away on 29th march 2008. After she passed away, a lot of family politics had exist. My mum and all her brothers and sisters had divided into a few gangs. I believe my grandma doesn’t want to see so. I don’t understand why such things can happen! Why can’t they just get along together as happy as last time. What’s going on? Soon, my mum even don’t allow me and my sister keep on touch with other cousins whom from other gangs. I thought it was my mum’s generation problems and not the next generation problems! We’re innocent! What’s the matter if we keep in touch with other cousins?

I’m in KL. I don’t know what actually happen at my hometown and my mum. Ever since my grandma passed away, my mum has changed a lot. She doesn’t really care of her family. She’s like get addicted with Buddhism. It’s good for sometimes but not until get too addicted till leave the family aside. It’s definitely wrong! She should have always remembered she still has 2 kids which is my younger sister and me. I heard my sister said that my mum always scold her and even not satisfy with her results no matter how good she score or even improve compare to previous exam. My sister even complained to me that my mum seems like treat people’s daughter like her own daughter but treat her own daughter like other people. What’s wrong with her? I also want to know but I can’t as I’m in KL. I want to help my family but it’s a bit hard. I don’t want to see my mum like that. I called her once my results were out and I felt like why she’s like so surprise and a bit like can’t recognize me. I felt strange. How can my mum become like that? I don’t want to loose my mum. Oh mum, please come back and please awake!

Soon, before this semester started, I had lost a best friend of mine. The word “lost” not refers to my best friend had passed away but it refers to my best friend and I are no longer best friend. Not even normal friends too as I don’t trust that friend anymore! But may be just hi-bye friends. For now, I don’t hope to see that friend. I need time for it! Even when I saw that friend in college, I just turned back and walked away. You may say that I’m avoiding but actually not! Is just that I don’t want to see that friend!

Luckily I still have this blog to express everything out. As I’ve no more best friend and no more people I can talk to. So, if anything I just will type out here. If without this blog, I think i'll collapse soon or stress out as I unable to handle all this problems.