~ Acknowledgement ~
You have taught me a lot since the day I know you. I’ve learned many things from you. When first I came to KL, I never thought of learn to cook. And I don’t even know “sharing is caring”. I learned all this from you! After I had started and tried to cook some dishes, the first thing came to my mind was, I must learn to cook delicious ‘tau fu’ for my grandparents especially my grandma after I back to my hometown. Although it’s too late, I unable to cook for my grandma, but at least I do learn how to cook. Although my food taste badly sometimes, but you still will finish it and able to give me some feedback as referent to improve my cooking skill every time.
Before I came to KL, I always thought of leaving my family to some other places will lead to happier life. But I'm wrong! I’ve learned from you that family is always comes first. Because no matter what happen, family members will always be with you and support you. Actually sometimes, I’m quite envy you that you’ve such harmony and happy family. My family become more harmony after I study in KL. Although I don’t know what’s the actual reason but I’m happy to see so. I’ve also learned from you that we’ve the right to voice out our dissatisfaction and to improve the relationships between our family members.
All I want to say is thank you very much! Thanks for everything! You’ve taught me a lot of things. And I apologize that I’m quite annoying sometimes. And sorry for always troubling you. May be I’m not a good friend all this while. I won’t be trouble or ‘fan’ you anymore. Anyway, thanks for everything! You’re always a good friend of mine! =)
Friday, April 25, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
~ DREAM ~
Normally the 2nd dream will not connect with the 1st dream. But this time my both dream were slightly connected to each other. I dream if my grandma twice! Finally, my dreams come true!
In my 1st dream, I was having a walk with my grandma at a beach at night. Suddenly, we saw a mad dog that running around and chasing people. Everyone was running away for their life. Soon, the mad dog ran towards my grandma and bites her hand. So her hand was injured. Then, I cried. But my mum said, “What for you cry? Your grandma had died”. This is the part where I’m still confused whether that is my grandma or not. But I really saw my grandma’s hand was injured and was bleeding in the dream.
The 2nd dream was located at my grandpa’s house. Some of my cousins, aunts & uncles and I were there. We were having some conversation. After that, don’t know who mentioned about play cards or mahjong. So, my grandma volunteers to teach us to play cards or mahjong. Then, I woke up!
I wonder will I dream my grandma again tonight after I sleep? Will the dream continue with my 2nd dream? But one thing for sure, if I score my exam with flying colors, I’ll sure show it to my grandma! I LOVE YOU, GRANDMA! And I MISS YOU SO MUCH!
Normally the 2nd dream will not connect with the 1st dream. But this time my both dream were slightly connected to each other. I dream if my grandma twice! Finally, my dreams come true!
In my 1st dream, I was having a walk with my grandma at a beach at night. Suddenly, we saw a mad dog that running around and chasing people. Everyone was running away for their life. Soon, the mad dog ran towards my grandma and bites her hand. So her hand was injured. Then, I cried. But my mum said, “What for you cry? Your grandma had died”. This is the part where I’m still confused whether that is my grandma or not. But I really saw my grandma’s hand was injured and was bleeding in the dream.
The 2nd dream was located at my grandpa’s house. Some of my cousins, aunts & uncles and I were there. We were having some conversation. After that, don’t know who mentioned about play cards or mahjong. So, my grandma volunteers to teach us to play cards or mahjong. Then, I woke up!
I wonder will I dream my grandma again tonight after I sleep? Will the dream continue with my 2nd dream? But one thing for sure, if I score my exam with flying colors, I’ll sure show it to my grandma! I LOVE YOU, GRANDMA! And I MISS YOU SO MUCH!
Monday, April 21, 2008
~ My FeeLiNGs ~
Three weeks had passed after my grandma had passed away. The passage “TAU FU” is the only and last passage in my blog that I wrote regarding my grandma a few years ago before she get stroke last year. Although there’s many grammatical error, but I won’t correct it. If I correct it, it may change the feel of the whole passage. The passage is very valuable and priceless for me. I won’t get to write such passage anymore! No more in my life!
The things I worry all the while happened after my grandma passed away. Which was I unable to let go of her. I spend a week to put down and let go of her. On that week, I did many things which I never do before and was like another me. I cried the whole day during the funeral and I even will get emotion whenever mentioned about my grandma. Many things had happened when I was not in college although only for two days. On Friday, I felt very lost after my class at 4p.m. I didn’t even know where to go. Then I walked to the college bus stop and sat there for some time. After that, I decided to go to watch movie alone. My first thought was watched comedy so that I can laugh. Soon, I watched two movies continuously. All those never happen in my life before!
On Saturday was my grandma’s 7th day. I purposely drunk myself so that I’m able to dream my grandma and to forget all those unhappy stuffs. I really did so but I don’t know whether I was drunk or not. My friends also shocked to hear so. After that day, I started to accept the fact and let go of my grandma. But I hate every Saturday 2.++ am which is the time my grandma passed away. It will be my 2nd unforgettable memory in my life. It’s hard to forget that moment. To be honest, I still will cry every Saturday 2.++ am once it refresh back in my mind. I really miss my grandma so much!
After I studied in KL, I seldom called back. The last time I talked to my grandma on phone was the mid of my first semester before she get stroke on September 2007. Actually I planned to cook for her during my break in 1st semester. But it was too late! She get stroke in a sudden and many things had started to change. So, just do whatever you feel like doing before it’s too late! And appreciate every moment you’re having now! You may not know what will happen in the next second! Enjoy your life and always be happy! After all, I’ll appreciate my every moment with my grandpa and everyone now.
Three weeks had passed after my grandma had passed away. The passage “TAU FU” is the only and last passage in my blog that I wrote regarding my grandma a few years ago before she get stroke last year. Although there’s many grammatical error, but I won’t correct it. If I correct it, it may change the feel of the whole passage. The passage is very valuable and priceless for me. I won’t get to write such passage anymore! No more in my life!
The things I worry all the while happened after my grandma passed away. Which was I unable to let go of her. I spend a week to put down and let go of her. On that week, I did many things which I never do before and was like another me. I cried the whole day during the funeral and I even will get emotion whenever mentioned about my grandma. Many things had happened when I was not in college although only for two days. On Friday, I felt very lost after my class at 4p.m. I didn’t even know where to go. Then I walked to the college bus stop and sat there for some time. After that, I decided to go to watch movie alone. My first thought was watched comedy so that I can laugh. Soon, I watched two movies continuously. All those never happen in my life before!
On Saturday was my grandma’s 7th day. I purposely drunk myself so that I’m able to dream my grandma and to forget all those unhappy stuffs. I really did so but I don’t know whether I was drunk or not. My friends also shocked to hear so. After that day, I started to accept the fact and let go of my grandma. But I hate every Saturday 2.++ am which is the time my grandma passed away. It will be my 2nd unforgettable memory in my life. It’s hard to forget that moment. To be honest, I still will cry every Saturday 2.++ am once it refresh back in my mind. I really miss my grandma so much!
After I studied in KL, I seldom called back. The last time I talked to my grandma on phone was the mid of my first semester before she get stroke on September 2007. Actually I planned to cook for her during my break in 1st semester. But it was too late! She get stroke in a sudden and many things had started to change. So, just do whatever you feel like doing before it’s too late! And appreciate every moment you’re having now! You may not know what will happen in the next second! Enjoy your life and always be happy! After all, I’ll appreciate my every moment with my grandpa and everyone now.
Sunday, April 06, 2008
~ LasT WeeK's ToDaY ~
Last week’s today brought many changes. I still remember my cousins and I were staying awake at the living room. Because was our turn (every Friday night) to take care of my grandma. I was too sleepy so I went into the room to sleep at 2am. But two of my cousins still watching “Flood” at the living room. Once my cousin brother didn’t hear any sound from my grandma, he went to see awhile but she’s still breathing. Later, my aunty came down to see, she noticed that my grandma heart beat had stopped.
Suddenly, I was woken up by my cousin sister at around 2.30am. I was quite blur at that time and didn’t know what’s happening. So, I just woke up and walked out to the living room. Then, my aunt suddenly asked me to touch my grandma’s chest to make sure that my grandma’s heart beat had stopped. I put my hand on her chest and I really can’t feel anything which means her heart beat had stopped and died peacefully. That’s the moment many things started to change. Then, everyone started to pray for my grandma by sitting around her. We prayed 8 hours continuously and we’re not allowed to touch her in between the 8 hours.
At first, I’m still able to control my feeling but sooner or later I still burst into tears. I refresh back everything about my grandma and my tears kept like a water pipe non-stop flow out the water. Actually I was told not to cry in front of my grandma because scare that she’ll unable to let go us and go peacefully. My grandpa didn’t even know my grandma had passed away. We only told him after the 8 hours pray because scare he’ll touch my grandma after tell him. He’s so sad and angry and kept scolding us why don’t we tell him earlier. My uncles console him. He cried and went into the living room to touch my grandma before other people make up for my grandma and cover her with a cloth. After that, she was carried out and put it into a coffin and the funeral held at outside the house for 5 days.
Last week’s today brought many changes. I still remember my cousins and I were staying awake at the living room. Because was our turn (every Friday night) to take care of my grandma. I was too sleepy so I went into the room to sleep at 2am. But two of my cousins still watching “Flood” at the living room. Once my cousin brother didn’t hear any sound from my grandma, he went to see awhile but she’s still breathing. Later, my aunty came down to see, she noticed that my grandma heart beat had stopped.
Suddenly, I was woken up by my cousin sister at around 2.30am. I was quite blur at that time and didn’t know what’s happening. So, I just woke up and walked out to the living room. Then, my aunt suddenly asked me to touch my grandma’s chest to make sure that my grandma’s heart beat had stopped. I put my hand on her chest and I really can’t feel anything which means her heart beat had stopped and died peacefully. That’s the moment many things started to change. Then, everyone started to pray for my grandma by sitting around her. We prayed 8 hours continuously and we’re not allowed to touch her in between the 8 hours.
At first, I’m still able to control my feeling but sooner or later I still burst into tears. I refresh back everything about my grandma and my tears kept like a water pipe non-stop flow out the water. Actually I was told not to cry in front of my grandma because scare that she’ll unable to let go us and go peacefully. My grandpa didn’t even know my grandma had passed away. We only told him after the 8 hours pray because scare he’ll touch my grandma after tell him. He’s so sad and angry and kept scolding us why don’t we tell him earlier. My uncles console him. He cried and went into the living room to touch my grandma before other people make up for my grandma and cover her with a cloth. After that, she was carried out and put it into a coffin and the funeral held at outside the house for 5 days.
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